


Lost and Found

by brightftwin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sad, happy ending for the both of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24356617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightftwin/pseuds/brightftwin
Summary: In the midst of being lost, Mingyu finds himself.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Kudos: 9





	Lost and Found

exactly how many times have they broken up and gotten back together?  
mingyu’s not going to be silly about it, he can still count it one hand.  
twice.  
yeah, they broke up, had a falling out, didn’t speak for a couple of months, one got the courage, one still had feelings and voila, they got back together. yipee.

his friends would always say wonwoo isn’t good for him; that he doesn’t deserve someone like him but mingyu doesn’t believe any of them. he’s one of those people who thinks there is good in everybody and it’s yet to be discovered if he just persevered and waited enough. but how much waiting should he do for the love of his life to feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable to him?

the relationship resumed and the same feeling of dread weighs heavy on his chest. every single time. and every single time that feeling knocks on mingyu’s door, loud and alarming, he pretends he doesn’t hear it. 

the conversation is dead—always dead and mingyu’s trying to see if wonwoo would ever do something to liven it up. instead he says his “good night” and goes to sleep. that or doesn’t reply for a couple of minutes and then goes to sleep. 

the feeling of dread sits on mingyu’s chest yet again. heavy and suffocating. he asks if he’s enough, if he’s worthy of his time. he scrolls through his social media and immediately his thoughts riot. he has to sleep.

the feeling continues, but there was happiness in there. happiness that someone out there actually likes him enough to go back to him. 

mingyu texts him his good morning at 8AM—first, wonwoo is always his first... first thought in the morning and his first to everything.

his phone pings. 

wonwoo texts back at 9AM. and mingyu tries to understand. he really does but most times, he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t get why wonwoo would take three minutes, five minutes and sometimes an hour or two to text him back.

was he busy? maybe he was busy. maybe he had a lot of things to do... maybe—oh, mingyu remembers reading articles before that says if you’re making up excuses for how your partner acts then it’s a sign you’re not really going to work out. mingyu shakes his head at the thought. ridiculous. they have their our own lives. he tries and tries and tries his best to understand as much as he could but he really just can’t get why he could make time for wonwoo and why wonwoo just can’t make time for him. he tries. but that feeling weighs heavy on his chest again, like a ton of bricks he has to carry along with the thoughts in his head. 

mingyu: are you busy? [sent: 6:58PM]  
wonwoo: nope. [sent: 7:45PM]  
mingyu: oh. [sent: 7:45PM]  
mingyu: then do u wanna talk to me? [sent: 7:46PM]  
wonwoo: yeah, of course. [sent: 8:35PM]

yeah, feels like he doesn’t.

mingyu: you home? [sent: 6:30PM]  
wonwoo: nope, friend of mine asked me to dinner. [sent: 6:35PM]  
mingyu: friend? [sent: 6:35PM]  
wonwoo: yeah. [sent: 6:36PM]

mingyu learns later that that friend was someone wonwoo used to like. the corner of his eyes sting. and that feeling consumes him the entire night making it hard to fall asleep. 

“you really have nothing to worry about, mingyu. he’s just a friend.” wonwoo caresses his back and hugs him close to his chest. mingyu decides to meet up on the weekend because he missed wonwoo and he was down for it.

this is how they spend their time together. cuddling, staying in each other’s arms as long as they could. it’s comforting. it’s very comforting to have someone warm who will embrace you through the night and have someone to wake up next to you in the morning. 

“he’s that friend you gone out before right?” mingyu asks, jealousy poorly hidden in his voice. he can’t help it. he is a jealous person although he tries not to be and tries to understand that he can trust people—especially wonwoo, something in him just tells him otherwise. but wonwoo... wonwoo would never do anything like that, right? “were you ever together?”

“no.”

“why?”

“he doesn’t like me.”

“but you do like him?”

there was a long stretch of silence and mingyu cranes his neck to see wonwoo’s face. his expression. the latter sighs, shakes his head and holds mingyu tightly. 

“...that was before.”

and that could have reassured mingyu, really. that could’ve made him believe. but oh, god, the hesitation in wonwoo’s voice was truer than all those three words combined. mingyu should have known. 

the cycle goes on and on and on and on. they fight, they make up, they kiss and never talk about breaking up. though the heavy feeling in mingyu’s chest stayed, he believed they were good. he believed they could be everything they could want in this life. he envisions them together until the end. mingyu dreams of their future, his mother finally meeting the love of his life, wonwoo being included in all the family gatherings, them going on trips together—it was everything he had inside his head. and he wished he could live in it and not in reality.   
because in reality, everything just didn’t turn out the way he wanted them to be. wonwoo disappears for a couple of days, wanting time for himself, says his mind’s too much to handle and although mingyu wants to ask, he doesn’t. he tries to respect wonwoo’s space, but he couldn’t help but worry about him. he thinks of all the possible scenarios. wonwoo finally getting fed up, wonwoo finally contemplating leaving him, wonwoo finally realizing he’s never going to be good enough and wonwoo pursuing that guy he went out with a couple of weeks ago.

he cries and he tries to stop his mind from thinking. he couldn’t. they were good—they were really good but mingyu couldn’t stop it. for some reason, he wanted the truth. he wanted his boyfriend to talk to him about everything that’s troubling and promise him that he will be there to listen and hug him until the pain goes away, but wonwoo never talks to him. he comes back after the days he’s gone as if nothing happened. mingyu is left in the dark again and it feels like he’ll never be included in his life. it feels like he was slipping through his fingers day by day and mingyu was holding on to nothing but smoke. 

they were good but sometimes it gets too much. his mind can get too much. he thinks too much that one day he snaps at wonwoo. all these pent up emotions has gotten the better of him and that was mingyu. that was mingyu. 

mingyu: are you busy? [sent: 3:45PM]  
wonwoo: no [sent: 4:00PM]  
mingyu: then do you wanna talk to me? [sent: 4:00PM]  
wonwoo: yeah. [sent: 5:30PM]  
mingyu: doesn’t feel like it.   
mingyu: why do you keep doing this?  
mingyu: is it really hard to reply?  
wonwoo: what’s with you?  
mingyu: i just can’t believe i can make the time for you but you can’t even tell me youre busy.  
wonwoo: didnt i just tell you?  
mingyu: i tried to strike a conversation with you because i know we havent been good these days. i try, hyung! i really try to understand that you arent the type to text back quickly but really? even to me?  
wonwoo: let’s talk later.  
mingyu: no! let’s talk now!

[48 missed calls]

wonwoo: i’m tired. let’s end this.  
mingyu: why?  
mingyu: are you leaving me just like that?  
wonwoo: it’s better than to have this drag out longer.

“can we please work this out? i’m ready to change, hyung.”

“mingyu, this is enough.”

“please, we’ll go on dates. we’ll work on our relationship together, we’ll—“

“mingyu.”

“i just have one question, hyung. why did you ever get into a relationship with me knowing that you can never fight for me?”

wonwoo doesn’t answer.

and it happens.  
he comes home with a shattered heart and this time his mom sees through it all and gives him a huge hug. he spends the night in her room, sobbing until the sun shone through the windows.

he’s always underestimated the pain of heartbreak. but now he knows. it’s more than just his heart shattering. it’s suddenly crying on to his lunch and his friends look at him with such sadness in their eyes. it’s him, kim mingyu, one to be known for eating a whole lot, not having the appetite.  
it’s taking bathroom breaks at the office only to look himself in the mirror, his eyes red with tears streaming down his face. it’s waking up in the morning, heart beating like crazy as the first thought in his head was wonwoo forgetting him. he doesn’t want wonwoo to forget him. he doesn’t want to forget wonwoo.

it’s looking in the mirror again, combing his hair and patting his chest while tears continuously fall from his cheeks as he tells himself: “you’re okay. you did what you could. you loved him deeply and that’s fine. he just wasn’t for you. we’ll get through the day.” 

it’s thinking that he’s used to the pain but hearing a certain word, seeing a certain thing and being reminded of what he used to have with wonwoo send him bawling to his pillow at night. it’s those moments of feeling unworthy and unlovable, feeling like he was the one to blame for it all that just make him clutch his chest and wish for sleep to just take him.

it’s waking up at ungodly hours and crying over and over again hoping he’d call, hoping he’d come back, hoping he’d realize he made a mistake by leaving mingyu. but those things never come and life just goes on. the morning comes and the evening concludes the day.

that’s what having a broken heart feels like, looks like. and it may be different for everybody, but it doesn’t take away the fact that it made mingyu wish he didn’t have the capacity to feel deeply. it made him wish to not be human and that’s the saddest thing he could ever imagine.

“did you hear? wonwoo and junhui are together now.”

junhui seems like a familiar name—oh, right. that’s the name that popped on to wonwoo’s notification the day they broke up. that was the friend. the someone mingyu shouldn’t worry about. the one he couldn’t get off the phone with while mingyu worries his ass off waiting for his ‘boyfriend’s’ text. the person who made wonwoo not get his hands off his phone. he should have known. 

and when you think you’ve gotten used to the pain, it happens. 

healing looks like this for him: break downs at random places and moments, overthinking, crying, feeling like he’s not going to get out of the rut he was in and that life will continue kicking him in the ass because he isnt worth it. anger, anger at his ex and then anger at himself for letting someone treat him like shit and then just crying.  
one moment he’s okay and the other, his hands are shaking and he can barely breathe. mingyu dies again together with his poor heart and he skips work the day after. 

months pass and the ache still hasn’t gone fully but mingyu has tried his best. he goes out with his friends and tries his best to make himself feel happy, special. he tries his best to be with the people who genuinely wants him in their lives and it was a beautiful thing. he does the things that make him busy, things that get off his mind from all the shit he’s been through and it makes him forget for a couple of days.

now he was in the beach spending his time to himself. relaxing and just enjoying the moments where he’s alone and he isnt thinking about anything but himself. 

but maybe the universe has a way of fucking up things for him—or maybe making things better for him because he sees him there. wonwoo. wonwoo standing near the shore just looking at the horizon. his heart doesn’t skip a beat, his heart doesn’t do it’s little sommersaults like it did before, but his feet... boy, does it want to run. run far away from this place. it’s too late as wonwoo turns and meets his eyes. 

they don’t smile at each other but wonwoo does and there was a slight surprise he wasn’t able to mask. he acknowledges mingyu by nodding his head once. and mingyu does, too. his feet wants to run yet mingyu was never the type to run away from things so he can avoid it. he didn’t run when he went through all of this. he dove in, headfirst, facing everything with all that he had. it might have hurt him but he’s learned so much about himself that he couldn’t help but be thankful that it happened to him. he realized so many things and one of it is that he didn’t deserve a love that he chased, but a love that would meet him halfway. and that’s exactly what he had right now. 

in the distance he hears his name being called and he smiles, beautifully and genuinely, though his brows furrow in confusion as his phone suddenly rings. 

“sun!!! why are you so fucking bright!!!” seokmin shouts at the setting sun and he sees joshua helping to keep his boyfriend upright. joshua only shakes his head in amusement. 

“what the hell are you guys doing here?” mingyu asks, and eyes the guys who are on their way to him.

“you buttcheek!” another shout. “we know you’d be here!” soonyoung screams at the phone.

“there can only be one sun!!!” seokmin shouts and points at the poor sun again, “you’re going down!!!”

“is he drunk already?” mingyu asks, and this time his friend myungho, who called him, answers him. “and did you guys follow me here?”

“who knows. drunk seokmin and regular seokmin are the same, and yes, we followed you here.”

“but i wanted to be alone!” mingyu whines.

“ugh, we’re your friends, of course we won’t leave you alone.”

the sun sets and seokmin’s screams at the sun send the children running back to their mom’s. one by one, his friends pour out from the car they probably chipped in to rent so they could follow mingyu.

he shakes his head and says a quick goodbye to myungho.

the feet that felt like running didn’t feel that way anymore. so mingyu did what he had to do. he walks forward—and really that’s how it should be. him moving forward and looking forward.

and as he passes by wonwoo, with the latter’s back to him, he realizes that this is how it really should be: him leaving the past and the past being left behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> hello! comments and kudos are very much appreciated ❤️


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